All My Babies

When I started writing this blog I only had 1 cat and 2 dogs. The furbaby mama life was still pretty new and I was blogging as I was figuring it all out. While I can't say I have all the answers now with 3 dogs and 3 cats, I can say that I'm experienced. On the other hand, parenting a baby girl is all brand new. Blogging is not just my creative outlet, it's become an amazing way for me to document my life as it changes seasons, connect with all of you on different levels and figure this whole mom thing out as I go. So if you've been around since the beginning. I apologize that The Ruff Life has gone from all about the furbablls to all about the baby. I promise our dogs and cats have not been brushed to the side at all. Chris and I make the extra effort to ensure everyone gets the love and attention they deserve. But we consider ourselves pros in the furbaby department at this point so the focus of blog posts has overwhelming turned to mommy and baby topics. And I'll be honest, that's most likely the way it will stay. Now, that does not mean I won't throw in some furbaby focused posts here and there. I'm always open to suggestions and questions. I just feel like I have to keep this blog current and my life right now is very different than it was when I started writing. A rebrand may be something I look into eventually but for now the name and our home here will remain unchanged. So with that said, this post is about all my babies.

We did things a little differently than probably most people do as far as introducing the kids' new baby sister to them. Our dogs are excitable with children especially so we knew we wanted to wait a bit before allowing close up interaction. We let them all get used to Fallon's scent and understand she was a new member of the family. The cats came and met her each on their own time but we had to control her relationship with the dogs early on. It might seem mean or harsh if you don't understand dog behavior and I am not suggesting everyone else should do things this way. But it ended up working out really well for us so I'll share our process. 

We actually waited a whole month before we let any of the dogs see Fallon up close. The initial meetings were brief and we made sure to bring Fallon to them on their beds as well as kept her at arm's length from them. We gradually increased the frequency and length of the time we let each dog interact with their new sister and closed the gap between their curious noses and her face. Chaos still gets upset when she cries and it takes all his will power to remain on command in his place instead of charging to her rescue. But we have yet to have any accidental injuries, no one getting underfoot while someone is holding the baby and she hasn't been scared by a friendly but very excited brother or sister in her face. She is getting to the age that she is starting to reach out for them and touch their faces and their fur. We will teach her to be gentle as soon as she understands but these calm and positive interactions now are setting the stage for that later. We are far from the people who treat their furballs like children and then toss them aside when a baby comes along. I promise we still love all our babies and our family dynamic has changed only for the better, even if it is mostly behind the scenes. 

This picture for our 2016 Christmas card picture could not showcase our babies' personalities any better and we are so excited to send it out to all our family and friends. 

Walk this Way: The Right Way to Walk your Dog

I didn't grow up in a home with dogs. My mom had a terrible fear of them instilled from childhood and it was a huge step when I finally got a cat in high school. When I was 25 I finally bought my own place and could not wait to get a dog. A few months later I became the proud mama to our resident Boster Terrier and Mr. Personality himself, Ares. The problem was, I had no clue about dog behavior or any idea about the concept of etiquette as a dog mom. Nearly 4 years later I'm the proud mama to 4 dogs and boy have things changed since I brought home that tiny black and white ball of fur.

Having settled into life in suburbia with my husband, a certified dog trainer, and our pack, it's time to start spreading some awareness on a topic we both feel is incredibly important: dog walking etiquette. Yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to walk your dog. The problem is, so many people are like I used to be, utterly clueless.

The first thing dog parents should understand is that dogs are dogs, not humans. Duh, right? They coexist domestically so well with us it's sometimes easy to forget that they are in fact a different species. We have to teach them exactly what we expect of them while also staying privy to the fact that dogs have their own set of behaviors and ways of communication. A wagging tail does not always equal a happy dog.I can't even count the number of times I've encountered people who let a leashed dog walk directly up to another dog and/or person cheerily explaining it's okay he's friendly. Not only is this completely unfair to the other party, it has the potential to quickly turn into a nasty situation.

In the human world socializing means interacting with others. In the dog world, these are two separate concepts. A socialized dog is one who remains neutral upon seeing other dogs and humans while out walking. The dog does not become aggressive, nervous, intensely excited or distracted. Socializing your dog is as simple as walking her and allowing her to see, hear and smell the environment without physically interacting with other walkers. It is important to understand that even if you know your dog is properly socialized, other dogs you encounter while walking may not be. Your friendly, neutral pup should still only be allowed to interact with dogs she is already familiar with and you are certain the two get along. As humans this is counter intuitive because but with dogs, this is a standard social norm we as responsible parents need to follow.

Remember how I said my mom has been afraid of dogs her whole life? She's made huge strides in overcoming this fear as an adult but she is still very uneasy around any dog she doesn't know well. She certainly is not the only person who feels this way and many others have even greater fears. Plus, it's nearly impossible for dog lovers to understand this concept, but some people just don't like dogs. Gasp, I know. In the spirit of human decency and common courtesy, you should never walk your dog right up to a stranger. The fact that your dog is friendly probably doesn't make someone who fears dogs or simply isn't a fan any more inclined to meet your dog. And quite honestly, some of  you only think your dog is friendly with all people.

Improper dog walking is not only rude to others, but it could have dangerous effects. While we as humans view looking someone in the eye and shaking hands a polite manner in which to meet, this is far from natural dog behavior. Dogs prefer to meet side to side, and sniff each other out, usually in the famous nose to tail position. Now, just as not all humans follow proper social guidelines, not all dogs do either. Imagine how you would feel if someone you don't know came up and hugged you from behind at the grocery store? Could it happen because that person is oblivious to social norms, chooses to ignore them or just never learned them? Of course. Does it make it any more acceptable behavior to the rest of us who do abide by them? Probably not.

Just like us, dogs will react differently in these situations based on several factors including personality, past experience, level of training and how mom or dad handles it. Knowing your dog is absolutely essential to proper walking etiquette, but I will come back to that. Of my 4 dogs, Ares is the only dog who would take it in stride if a strange dog approached him in an atypical matter such as head on or from behind. Tigger, our Boxer-Shepherd mix, would most likely snap at the offender, essentially scolding the dog for an improper greeting. If the dog isn't familiar with how to properly greet other dogs, he or she may also may not be hip to the warning and that is where the situation could turn dangerous. Worst case scenarios could happen with Chaos, an American Pit Bull Terrier, or Trinity, an American Bulldog, as they tend to be the most timid of the bunch. A scared dog is the worst kind as they react in defense to a perceived threat. Note that the approaching dog could certainly be very friendly, but if he is not following dog appropriate guidelines for interaction, he can appear frightening to another dog. Of course, as I mentioned, your dog might not truly be as friendly as you believe. A wagging tail can also indicate nervousness or fear. It's your job to know which one your dog is communicating. Who is blamed when dogs and/owners are injured in these situations? Almost never the dog acting improperly and the owner who allowed it to happen.

Walking your furry friend is great exercise for both of you and a wonderful bonding experience. But dogs aren't born knowing how to walk on leash. We have the responsibility as parents to teach them. So many people never take the time to train this very important skill and are left with a constant slew of problems. Dogs are pack animals. If you don't make it known you are in charge, he or she will take over. Heeling is a command dogs can be taught where they are expected to walk right next to the person holding the leash (usually on the left side) regardless of whatever else in the environment that may be of interest. It takes some patience and some practice but it is the most effective way to maintain walking etiquette. When your dog is always keeping pace with you, never allowed to walk ahead or fall behind, you are in control, the way it should be. It's dangerous for you if your dog is pulling you along, possibly into the street, bolting after a squirrel, or simply so hard you fall down. And it's dangerous for others with dogs who won't appreciate the fact that you can't control your pooch and accidentally allow an improper meeting. Pay attention to your dog and make sure she is paying attention to you. She should stop when you stop, turn when you turn and move faster or slower according to your pace. Correct your dog if he is out of line and reward him when he does the job right. Buy a durable leash and collar, take the time to train your dog to walk next to you either yourself or via certified trainer, and steer clear of retractable leashes and harnesses that can give full control to the dog.

Most of us walk our dogs through neighborhoods, parks and down busy city streets. This means we have to share the road so to speak. Pay attention to your surroundings and respond accordingly. Your pace may be faster or slower than someone you encounter along your route. Move off to the side your dog is on to let a runner or someone moving faster than you pass by. You should act as the barrier between the stranger, with or without a dog, and your own dog. If you are passing by someone walking slower, again, keep your dog on the outside. I'm also talking to those of you walking without a dog. Be sure to pass by a dog walker on the human's side, not the dog's. If you have multiple dogs, they should all be on one side, not both.

Finally, let's go back to knowing your dog. Learn how your particular dog responds to specific stimuli, types of people and situations. If you know your dog barks at other dogs when closely encountered, such as passing by on the sidewalk, avoid that situation at all costs. Unless you are currently in training for this behavior and instructed on how to appropriately work through it, putting your dog in a situation you know he is uncomfortable with is unnecessary and irresponsible. Simply because your dog is small or you feel you have him or her under complete control doesn't mean it is okay. Proper etiquette is to move away to a further distance when you spot another dog. As well as you know your own dog, you do not know the one passing by. Your barking dog could easily spook or upset another dog and cause a negative reaction.

Proper dog walking etiquette might sound kind of silly but it's actually something that all dog owners should be aware of and practicing. Be a responsible parent, your dog deserves it and so do the rest of us. Be courteous to other humans and their dogs. Be educated and aware of the behaviors of your own dog as well as others. Be proactive with training to keep you and your dog safe. And my favorite, be in control when you stroll. The single most important part of dog etiquette is ensuring you and your dog are always on your best behavior.
 

Be sure to hop on over to Rover.com for many more tips on dog walking and responsible dog ownership. You can also find a dog walker or dog sitter while you're there.

Happy Sunday!

All About that Place

Woops, meant to post this on Friday. I'm blaming it on pregnancy brain.

Can you tell that I heard Megan Trainor this morning and it’s been stuck in my head all day? I know it’s Friday and typically I like to keep Friday posts on the lighter side but I’m throwing a curve ball this week. After my post on Tuesday I knew I had to get this out ASAP because the questions were going to start rolling in. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I answered some questions and inadvertently sparked a separate topic. I mentioned that Ares stays in his place nearly the entire time I am home in the evenings. So this post is to answer your questions and explain the hows and whys of it all.

 A LONG time ago I did a mini-series of blog posts called The Training Diaries where I discussed a different dog training method each post. We have come a long way since then. Chris is now a certified dog trainer after completing nearly a year of online schooling. He went back to doing road construction, which allows him to work hard and make a full year’s income in 6 months, so that he could go through more extensive and in depth hands on training in the off season. Currently Chris has been training with the head trainer at a very well respected facility in our area every day during the week. He has already learned so much and this knowledge has sparked us to revisit training on our dogs.

 I did a post on the Place command, which is not completely dissimilar to the way we use it now, just much less advanced. If you are completely unfamiliar with this command and would like to learn it, see this post for the beginning basics. “Place” put simply is a down stay command. However the difference is that “Place” should be used if you need/want your dog to stay for an extended period of time and not just momentarily. Examples are always helpful I think so here are the differences by situation. If you are out walking your dog and see a neighbor you want to stop and briefly chat with you would just give your dog the down command and then the stay command so he lays at your feet while you have a quick conversation. If you don’t have a fenced in yard but would like your dog to be able to come hang outside with you on a nice evening, you would give the place command as he would be expected to stay laying down for more than a few minutes.

 Teaching your dog the place command can be incredibly invaluable for both inside and outside the home. I don’t know about you but mine would love to just follow me around the house when I’m home alone and dogs underfoot + stairs + carrying a laundry basket can be very dangerous. Especially now that I’m carrying extra precious cargo. But you might be thinking that it sounds cruel to make your dog lay in one spot for hours on end. I did at first too. But there’s a really good reason why, on the contrary, it’s great for your dog. When you give a dog a command he uses mental and physical energy to obey. Even though for “Place” it’s just one command, it requires continuous energy for the dog to maintain the command. That means your dog’s mind and body are essentially getting a workout as long as he’s obeying the place command. The brain is learning focus and control and the body is actually burning calories as if exercising. Sounds crazy, right? Take it from a total skeptic right here that it’s the real deal. We actually had to increase the amount of food we were giving Ares and Chaos at mealtime because they had lost a few pounds the first couple weeks into doing this regularly. It has also seemed to make them much more relaxed and happy dogs in general. There’s an old saying that a tired dog is a happy dog. If you find your dog has fallen asleep while in “Place” you can smile because he’s happy.

 So, is this a forever situation or a boot-camp kind of thing? Well, both. First let me reassure you that OF COURSE they get water breaks and time to go out to do their business and play/run in the yard. We will remain consistent with “Place” at all other times while inside the house until such time as they have learned they cannot break the command no matter what until another command is given (come, heel, ect.). We are still working on keeping the boys from getting up when someone comes over , the cats roll toys their way and getting up if we turn our backs or walk into another room. Once they have proven the place command will be followed strictly after it’s given, then we will scale back. Every dog is different so they will learn at different paces and it may take longer for one dog than the other. Even once we are secure with the command, it will not be a free for all. We plan to allow the dogs to roam the house somewhat but definitely give the place command  if we are going to be up and down stairs, doing a project we need them to stay away from, putting the baby sleep, ect. The command will not lose it’s positive effect on the mind and body as time goes on but eventually it won’t be necessary all of the time. Why? Because Ares and Chaos will understand how to behave inside the house versus outside the house and control their energy levels relative to the situation. This in itself will continue the learned mind/body stimulation. Now I’m not saying to stop walking your dog or playing in the yard with him because he’s burning all those calories in “Place”. Walking and playing together are excellent bonding experiences and FUN. Plus, low impact exercise will always help to ensure an overall healthy dog. But you don’t have to feel guilty (like I used to) if you just can’t get a walk/play session in today because having your dog stay in place is definitely giving him amazing mind and body benefits.

 The way we practice “Place” now is a graduated version of our original use of the command. The dogs follow this command for very long periods of time, often hours, instead of just 30 minutes or an hour here or there. The only way the command is broken is to give another command, such as “Come”, “Heel” or “Outside”. We also use a specific spot in the house as opposed to a blanket/rug/bed. Our dogs love being by the fireplace and it’s a great out of the way spot for them. We put their beds there so that they will be comfortable but the point is that if we gave the command they would go lay in front of the fireplace even if the beds weren’t there. “Place” isn’t on a specific object but rather in a specific location. If you want to get really fancy after the initial concept of the command is well learned, you can name specific spots throughout the home. We have designated spots for “Place” in 3 rooms of our house right now and for us, we felt like it would be simple and easy to name them by color. You can use anything you want that you can remember and don’t feel ridiculous saying every day. In front of the fireplace is where we want the dogs to be in “Place” the majority of the time and that is “Blue”. So instead of saying “Place” when we want them to follow the place command in front of the fireplace we just say “Go Blue”. This is especially fun if you have a favorite team and use their color. We have not made it to this point yet but eventually we should be able to say “Go Blue” if we are upstairs with the dogs and they will go downstairs to the correct spot. We would still use plain old “Place” for any other time we want them to go into an extended down stay. Make sense?

 I know this was incredibly long and involved, especially for a Friday, so I’m going to go ahead and shut up now. Send me your questions when you turn your brains back on after the weekend.