Has anyone ever said to you, “Just wait until you’re a mom/dad”? Maybe if you already are a parent you’ve said this once or twice before. But what does it really mean to be a parent?
I think most people can identify with certain qualities normally attributed to a parent. A person who loves and cares for, supports and worries about, protects and always wants what is best for their child. Sure, a parent has always been referred to as the mother or father of their human offspring. But in the modern world a parent doesn’t have to only fit into that little box.
Parents are now recognized as a collective group of people who take responsibility for raising, financially supporting, loving and protecting a child. That child can share their DNA, part of their DNA, or none of it at all. And now that “child” doesn’t even have to be human.
People have kept animals at pets for generations, but it’s only in more recent years that these pets have transitioned to family members. I don’t believe I had ever heard the term “furbaby” until I got Ares. But including pet owners into the parent category is not something everyone agrees with yet.
“But it’s just a dog.” You’ve all heard that one before. If your human child was sick I wouldn’t say to you, “It’s just a kid.” A dog is a living, breathing creature capable of forming strong emotional bonds with humans and even learning our way of life that is so very different from their wild roots.
Babies and puppies aren’t apples and oranges, they’re a lot more like apples and apples. Spend one night with a very young puppy and you’ll see what I mean. No, you’re not up feeding him at all hours of the night. But you are trying to let him cry himself to sleep in crate, meanwhile dying inside because you want to soothe him. You’re getting up 4 times a night to take him potty so he doesn’t have an accident and have to sleep in it. You’re praying for the pathetic wimpering to stop, but once it does, you have to go make sure he’s still breathing. Maybe you’ve slept on the floor next to a crate or gave up and let him sleep in your bed all the while you lay there awake because you’re afraid you’ll squish him. Parents of human babies, does this sound at all familiar?
My point is not that being responsible for a human child is the same as being responsible for a dog (or a cat). What I am trying convey is that just because we don’t have human children doesn’t mean we aren’t parents. We are financially responsible for raising our furbabies, loving/caring for them, making sure all their physical and emotional needs are met, worrying about them, protecting them and making decisions to do what we feel is best for them. Yes, the scale is smaller and the difference is in the details, but the role is still the same.
When Ares and Chaos had their surgeries, although minor and routine, I worried. When Chaos spent months battling itchy skin so bad he hurt, I hurt too. When a dog came after Ares at a dog park I didn’t hesitate before I threw myself in the way (thankfully neither of us were hurt). We research the best training methods, food, toys and daycare facilities. We pay for vet bills and expensive medications. We bathe them, groom them, and play with them. We try our best to teach them manners and are embarrassed and frustrated when they don’t listen or follow the rules.If you come after them I will go from nice girl to Grizzy bear before you can blink. But most importantly, we love them. Even when they disobey us, poop on the rug, or play to rough in the house and knock into a table with a hot wax warmer on it which sends the contents all over the place. Just like a parent loves a human child.
Just because your kid is furry, has 4 legs and can’t speak your language doesn’t mean you aren’t his mommy/daddy.
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