You Asked, I Answered: Labor & Delivery

Okay y'all I'm going waaayyy out of comfort zone on this one so I hope you appreciate it! I've gotten so many questions regarding my labor and delivery after sharing Fallon's birth story. I was a little surprised at first with how personal some of them were but then again, I know first hand that there are a lot of things about the experience that not many people talk about. While I did have some friends tell me a thing or 2 about what really goes down when you're giving birth, it of course was not the same story for everyone. So, I'm just going to break through the wall and lay it all out there. I compiled the questions most asked and decided to go ahead and give the real, honest answers in all their nitty gritty glory. This one isn't for the faint of heart but I'm doing this because I love you and love that you're still following along.

How did you know you were in labor?

- This is a big one for first time mamas and it can be totally different for everyone. If you read my final pregnancy post or Fallon's birth story you know I was sent home from the hospital twice in the week and a half before I actually gave birth. Prolonged prodromal labor is pretty rare so I'll skip right to that fateful night that shit got real. Really real. I was having the same type of contractions I had been having every day since they started and felt different than Braxton Hicks. But looking back now, things started happening that could have tipped me off that day was going to be the day I just didn't realize it at the time. The nicest way I can put this is that my body cleaned itself out pretty well that day. Then there were the menstrual like cramps that started mid afternoon. I disregarded both as just 3rd trimester pregnancy symptoms. And finally early evening I was walking around and felt like I peed a little. Hey, it happens when a giant baby head is pressing on your bladder. It happened a few more times but I didn't for a second think it was my water breaking. The 2 things I knew to look for were either an obvious big gush of water like in the movies or feeing like I peed but enough that it soaked through my pants instead of a puddle at my feet. Neither of those things happened. I actually didn't even find out that was my water and not pee until AFTER I delivered. So probably an hour after I thought I was peeing my pants I was watching TV and the contractions started to hurt a lot more all of a sudden. I was having pain in my lower back but also in my entire pelvic region. I tried to go to bed but that lasted all of about 20 minutes before I was quickly in agonizing pain and feeling like I could not get any relief, even between the contractions. I was having trouble walking normally and could still hold a conversation but not with my eyes open (closing my eyes helped me deal with the pain). I called my doctor and she told me to go to the hospital and I told Chris it was time. It was terrible to sit down and I felt like someone was twisting a knife deep into my lower back at the same time as something very strong was squeezing my body from my lower belly to my thighs with an iron grip. When I was checked at the hospital I felt a pop and thought that was my water breaking. It was, but the nurse had been confused saying it felt like it had maybe already broken. I found out later I had a very slow leak aka the tiny amounts of "pee" from earlier. When it was really showtime, I knew 100%.

Did you tear?

- Ugh, this one makes me cringe. Of course this happens all the time. You're trying to push a bowling ball through a pin hole and sometimes it just won't quite fit. Something's gotta give. I had a first degree tear, the most common, so it was minimal. This is pretty surprising considering my girl came out shoulders front to back instead of side to side. I had a few stitches but honestly recovery hasn't been bad. I'm a pretty fast healer and have a fairly high pain tolerance so take this with a grain of salt. 

Did it hurt to push without the epidural?

- This one made me a chuckle a bit. I'm sure you're hoping the answer is no, it just stung a little. In short, hell yes it hurt. But my situation made things a little different. I was not expecting to have to deliver sans epidural, it just ended up happening that way so that was an unwelcome surprise and I wasn't prepared. Fallon was sideways and the vacuum was used so that kind of upped the ante in the pain department. I mean to put it bluntly, it felt like my body pelvis was ripping apart. But then you have the fact that at the point I had to push au natural we knew something was wrong with baby and I was terrified and just determined to get her out as fast as my body would let me. I'm sure my adrenaline levels were through the roof. I will tell you that there was no screaming or husband slapping or cussing at the nurses or crying. I just closed my eyes and used everything I had to push. 

Did you have to deliver the placenta?

- I actually did not even know about this until recently. Seriously, I had no idea that when you have a baby, that baby is not all that has to come out. I've heard some women have to push again to get it out, others it just comes out with the baby and some are like me. I was barely paying attention after delivering Fallon because a team of people was working on her across the room and I was just holding my breath and waiting to hear her cry or at least that she was okay. But I was slightly aware that my doctor just sort of tugged on the cord and pulled it out. I don't recommend looking, unless you find that kind of thing cool or fascinating. 

Did you poop?

- This is my favorite one. Yup, I'm going there. So apparently this does happen to the overwhelming majority of women during childbirth. You push with all the muscles down there and well, everything just all comes out whether you want it to or not. The nurses and the doctors don't care, they literally see that shit all the time and it's a totally normal part of the job. It's cleared away maybe even before you ever know it happened. But lots of women are terrified about it happening anyway. And after saying all that, nope I did not. And I am not just saying that because I'm embarrassed and fibbing. Guys, this post is so left field for me it would be pointless to be untruthful. I'm positive it didn't happen because nothing was taken out from  under me and thrown away while I was pushing. The nurses only ever touched my legs to help me push. Oh and my husband confirmed that i did not and he's honest to a fault. I just got lucky. Go ahead and hate me, I think I deserved to be spared this one considering everything else that happened before and after. Remember how I said my body cleaned itself out? I guess there was nothing left. There, now you know. 

Hopefully putting myself out there like this has been helpful and informative to some of you. And for those of you just curious, there you have it. Anyone who was appalled, offended or disgusted after reading this post, I'm sorry but most of the people had spoken and they wanted to know the dirty details. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stick my kid on the boob. Might as well tell it like it is now, right?

Resolutions + Your Top Questions Answered

So we are a week into the new year. I know, can you believe it’s 2016?! And the most consistent topic of conversation in the last few days has been how everyone is already breaking their New Year’s resolutions. I’ve really never been one for even making resolutions. Trust me, it’s not that I don’t think I need them. It’s more the fact that if I try to make this grand statement that I will stop doing this or start doing that right now that it won’t really be a positive outcome. So instead I just try to go into the new year with optimism for all the things to come and sure, I try to sprinkle some “what can I do betters” throughout my life as well. But this year I am making a resolution. And that is stop worrying or even caring at all about every else’s opinions.

It’s human nature to want to be socially accepted and it’s my nature to avoid confrontation. I prefer to please. But as I’ve gotten older, become a mama to my furbabies and am now carrying our human baby, my perspective has changed. I feel much stronger in doing what I feel is right than bothering with the negative reactions from others. It’s been nearly 2 years since I started this blog and it has really grown with me. I’ve become much more open and branched out into many other topics than I set out to from the beginning. And while my intention is still never to purposely offend, insult or hurt anyone’s feelings with what I share here, I have to let go of the fact that sometimes it might.

I’ve recently received several questions that I will call…loaded. What I mean by that is not that I mind answering them, it’s that I know in being completely honest I may spark some controversy in the process. So here’s the thing. This is my blog. I am a nice person and I sincerely appreciate every single one of you who read my ramblings. But I want to stay authentic and true to you so if at any point anyone doesn’t like what is on the screen, don’t read it. Maybe just wait for the next post or move onto a blog more suited to your lifestyle and beliefs. In honor of upholding my resolution and letting all the haters just go ahead and hate if they want (rolling off my back people!), I’m going to answer your top questions.

Was your pregnancy planned?

Shocked that anyone asked this? Wondered this yourself? Are one of the people who did ask? Well, it’s not really a straightforward answer. Yes, we were ready to start a family but no we weren’t exactly expecting it to happen when it happened. I promised to be honest but I will draw the line at getting overly personal so that’s kind of that for this one.

How do you respond when someone  has a strong opinion against Pit Bulls?

Fortunately I do not encounter people with this mindset all that often. However, I feel like the best defense is simply to spread that truth. Now, will most of them bother to listen to you? Probably not. But, even though I really would rather just give ‘em a good smack and tell ‘em where to stick it, I know I will later regret someone like this getting the best of me. If Chaos is physically there to demonstrate how much of a vicious monster he isn’t, then I’ve got all the fuel I need right there. If he’s not, I just try to point out all of the amazing Pit Bulls qualities and explain whatever they will stick around to listen to about dog behavior and the responsibility of the humans.

Where do you get your dog beds?

Currently we have a bed for each dog as they no longer share. This is because we’ve gone back to basics with training to ensure the boys are on their best behavior when the 4 legged puppy aka baby arrives. A few months ago we purchased this bed after much research on its durability and functionality. We also love that since we have a deck and a yard now, it can be taken outside in the warmer months this year. It’s nicely padded and does not get lumpy at all, everything evens right back out if you wash the cover and put it back on. And the pretty decorative pattern is nice too. Most recently we purchased this bed off Amazon. It’s obviously a much less expensive option and since we needed something quickly and have Amazon Prime, it was no brainer to test out. It’s a nice cushy bed but not all that supportive. Ares does just fine at just about 30lbs but even though it’s big enough for Chaos, I’m fairly certain his weight would flatten it. The color is neutral and the cover is easily washable but it’s not the highest quality and we definitely wouldn’t bring it outside. So, we have them on both ends of the spectrum but we will be purchasing another Jax & Bones bed in the near future because we have found they are totally worth it.

Where do you shop?

For me or for the furballs? Haha. I have ventured into my love of shopping in more recent posts so I try to link as many items as possible that I’ve just purchased and love or that I’m wishing for. If guys would like me to try and link what I wear in post pictures underneath than I will certainly do that in the future. I am really an across the board shopper both for myself and my family. I love to find deals and sale items but I also will go for more expensive items that I know are better quality. I find something I like at Target every single time I go in there. I like J. Crew Factory and Gap as well as Nordstrom and Hello Apparel. I buy a ton of stuff for the kiddos on Amazon like Nylabones and treats. We actually buy the dogs’ reflective nylon leashes from Walmart and their blankets at Old Navy but do order hoodies/coats from Baxterboo or Lucy & Co.

Do you still fit into your regular jeans?

This one made me laugh. It was actually accompanied by several other questions related to this topic so I will go ahead and answer them all. I am 5’4, have been for nearly 15 years. I was 116 lbs pre-pregnancy and as of my OB appointment on Monday, I have not gained any weight. I am told this is normal so no worries. My regular jean size is 0/2/26 depending on the brand and style. Yes, I am still fitting fairly comfortably into them without a band or hair tie. Each body is different and responds differently to pregnancy. In the beginning I was bloated and thought for sure I’d be out of my jeans by week 10 but that didn’t last long and now I’m not thinking I’ll really be out of regular pants for a little while yet. I’m sorry to any of you who were in maternity clothes before the end of the 1^st trimester and/or gained 5lbs and want to throw things at me. Like I said, I’m being honest here.

What is your daily schedule?

I actually did a day in the life style post several months back but a lot has changed since then. I guess I will have to do another one here soon! In a nutshell I wake up at 5AM and leave for work around 6:15. I feed the kitties before I go but since Chris is in school and wakes up later, the dogs sleep until he wakes up. I get home between 4:30-5PM and work out/take a walk. I will definitely be doing an upcoming post on why we don’t have to walk the dogs everyday anymore. Hint, it is not because we have a fenced in yard now! I feed the dogs and cats again between 6-6:30 and that is when I make and eat dinner myself. Then I do housework like laundry, smaller cleaning tasks, general picking up, ect. Then I get a shower and do my whole nightly routine including taking my vitamins. Finally I wind down for the evening by working on a blog post, watching some TV or Pinteresting home décor ideas. I’m in bed by about 9:30, now that I’m not exhausted so early in the evening anymore. If Chris gets home early I may stay up a bit later chatting with him but 10 is the latest I get to bed. What are the dogs doing this whole time? Chaos goes to school with Chris and Ares…stays in his place on his bed between eating and going outside. I know, I need a post to explain this one!

Will you be doing a gender reveal?

Weeeelllll….no. And it’s not because we are just going to keep it to ourselves. We have decided not to find out the sex of the baby before birth so you will all find out when we do. I’m a sucker for a good surprise and Chris is totally on board. We will have names picked out for either and be thrilled no matter which one we end up with. Neutrals all the way!

Whew! That was a lot. I don’t know about y’all but I’m off to start this weekend!