The Non Joys Of Parenthood

I want to go ahead and preface this by saying I am so thankful I have a daughter. I appreciate that she is one hell of a gift and do not take the fact that she is healthy and thriving for granted for a single second. BUT I can't honestly say that I enjoy every moment of parenthood. Does anyone? I don't think it makes us ungrateful, just human. 

As much as I love seeing all the beautiful captures of motherhood in those moments of glory, we all know they don't tell most of the story. The parts that make us want to rip our hair out, run for the hills, pour the wine at 10AM, scream, cry or beat up a pillow. The frustration, the mental exhaustion, the sleep depravation. So, real talk people, here are 5 joys of parenthood I don't really find so joyous. 

Blowouts 

Dear God, how can so much crap come out of such a tiny body? I lost count of how many times we've had to wash the car seat padding and refill the bottle of stain remover. Little girlfriend is all go big or go home when it comes to shitting her pants.

Spit Up

My kid seems to think no outfit is complete without some regurgitated milk. She waits until I dress her and then BAM pukes on herself and usually me. It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't smell. 

Fussing

I get that babies communicate via crying when they need something before they can use words. But fussing aka whining grates on my last nerve. Probably what irritates me the most is my kid does it because she's bored and refusing to entertain herself. Heaven forbid I should leave the room to relieve my bladder.

Infant Car Seat

I know these things are made the way they are made to keep my baby safe and that rocks. But they are a bitch to use. They are awkward and heavy to carry and strapping in a screaming baby is sometimes the most challenging thing I do all day. It's like wrangling a tiny bronco. 

Naps

Or really lack there of. If these are so necessary why is it so hard to get them to happen? I'm lucky if my kid takes more than one nap a day, if one at all ,and 40 minutes is pretty solid for her. Multiple naps totaling 3-4 hours per day all the websites speak of are laughable to me. You're tired, I'm giving you the opportunity to sleep. Sleep. OMG JUST SLEEP. You mamas who get several hours worth of nap time hustle or relaxation, count your blessings. I'll just be over here attempting to accomplish all the things in 40 minutes or less, doing them with a 14+ lb baby attached to me or doing none of them because I'm pushing the stroller or driving the car. 

I love my baby so freaking much I can't even put it into words. And I fully accept that motherhood is mostly messy and chaotic and so far from a series of perfect little squares. I can take the bad with the good, roll with the punches and laugh about it later. Being a mom is an amazing job but I'm just never going to love poop.