We joke around that when I’m home I have always have a Pit Bull shaped shadow following me around. Ares is always happy to see me but then he’s off to play with Little O or his toys or whatever other Ares business he needs to attend to. He only follows me when he knows it’s time to eat or it’s time to go somewhere. But Chaos is like a suction cup on my side.
He waits outside the bathroom door.
Stands guard while I get ready for work.
Lays on top of me if he’s invited to.
Or lays at my feet if he’s not.
He crunches himself into my lap if I’m on the floor.
Gladly shares any of his beds with me.
Hangs out just outside the kitchen if I’m cooking.
And is immediately up and following me room to room if I’m walking around.
Although we joke about it and it seems very sweet, I have to be careful to not let him be too dependent on me. Most people that know Chaos or have met him before would not label him as shy. He’s very friendly and excited around new friends but he’s almost always with me, Chris or Ares. If you take all of us away and throw him into a new situation, he’s not all the comfortable at first and can be timid. We found this out the first time he went to his new daycare.
The daycare/boarding facility we’ve come to love has a very specific way of grouping dogs for playtime. Ares and Chaos don’t fit into the same group so they were separated and Chaos’s lack of confidence on his own came through. He just got overwhelmed and unsure at first but slowly came around to being out and about on his own. The handlers gave me a few tips to help boost his confidence by doing things at home but at first I was hesitant.
Chaos has been a mama’s boy since he was young and I let that role become defined. It was hard to hear someone tell me to stop letting him cuddle on my lap or lay at my feet all the time and tell him not to follow me around. I had thought I was making him happy but really I was allowing some of his self-confidence to dissipate because he was so glued to me. So once I understood that taking my shadow away was only temporary and would only benefit him in the long run, I was on board.
They said it would be more difficult for me than for him, but I think it was just as hard for both of us. The first couple weeks he would just look at me with these horribly sad eyes and cry like he lost his best friend when I forced space between us. This of course made me feel terrible and all but broke my heart.
But then I could actually see the turning point when he realized he could go lay on his bed a few feet away from me and he would be just fine. He could wait for me in another room and chew his toys and he would be just fine. If I was in the bathroom taking a shower he could play with Ares instead of laying outside the door and he would be just fine.
So now Chaos is allowed to be my Pit Bull shaped shadow again, but only as long as he understands he will be just fine if he’s not. He’s still not allowed to snuggle on the couch unless he is invited or lay in my lap on the floor unless I give the okay. He can follow me around as long as he isn’t getting in my way and if he is, he has to listen when I tell him to go to his place. Our bond hasn’t been broken in the slightest, and if anything, it’s only gotten stronger. Now Chaos can be my Pit Bull shaped shadow and a confident boy on his own.
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