It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It: On Tone of Voice

I don’t know that I have ever started a post with a picture, let alone a picture that is not of my furry kids. But this picture is what sparked today’s post so I thought it was appropriate. I think most of us are parents in some way whether you have humans kids, furry kids or both. And I’ll bet we’ve all done this when one of them is in trouble.

Human kids learn to hear words and understand their meanings but also to read tone. Since a lot of us treat our furballs much like human children, we tend to also communicate with them using both words and our tone of voice. But you have to be careful not to make a negative association when you don’t mean to.  

We’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. Humans convey messages to each other all the time using the exact same words and phrases but using different tones of voice to allow the other person to infer the message. Simply saying the word “hey” can illustrate many different emotions based on the context in which it is used. I could shout, “hey!” in a positive, upbeat tone of voice in greeting someone I am happy to see. I could say the same word in a startled voice if someone pops around the corner and surprises me. Or I could still use it as an exclamation but in a sharp, quick tone to gain someone’s attention.

When we use our tone to describe what we actually mean rather than just using the definition of the word itself, our human counterparts generally get the gist. But our furbabies learn from experience what words mean and it’s difficult for them to understand one word can have more than one meaning simply based on the tone in which it is communicated.  Which brings me to my point.

Just like we say words different ways to show emotions, we also use names to achieve this. Like in the first picture, if your mom or dad says your full name or even just says your name a specific way, you know you’re in trouble. But as a human, you also recognize that just because mom said “Hilary,” in that tone that means busted an hour ago, doesn’t mean when she says your name next time it will mean that you did something wrong.

Recall is a very important lesson for dogs. We want them to know their names of course so they know when we are talking to them, but we also want them to know to come to us when they are called. If you open the door and your terrier takes off after a squirrel, you want to be able to call him back inside. Dogs can easily and quickly learn this when it is taught properly.

When you get a new dog or puppy and name her you usually say that name over and over and over to the point that she will soon figure out that name = her. Teaching recall is really just going one step further and saying her name + come and making a fuss and giving treats when she comes to you. Your dog will put name + come = kisses and treats and will associate you calling her name positively. This evolves into just saying her name to have her come to you.

But even if you teach your little fluff ball recall, it doesn’t take much to learn a negative association if you use the wrong tone of voice. Just like people, a negative experience can overshadow a hundred positive ones. So one day when your little darling potties on the carpet and you say her name in that tone that means you’re in trouble and maybe add a come here now is that same tone, she’s going to think calling her to you means bad things. I’m completely guilty of this too so I’m not calling anyone out. It rolls off the tongue naturally.

Ares has always been a bit of a troublemaker. Because I’ve said his name in that you’re in trouble tone one too many times, his recall isn’t where it should be. He doesn’t always come when called because calling him to me has too often meant he did something wrong, even if I’m saying it in a nice way. On the other hand Chaos will always come to me no matter my tone, but that says a lot of personality differences.

I don’t know how many times we’ve been out walking and one of the dogs will get distracted by something and lose focus. Chaos has a fascination with blowing leaves and dandelions. Ares fixates on chirping birds and runners. The first few leaves Chaos gives his attention to I generally remember to say, “Chaos, focus” to bring his gaze back to me. But when we get to the tenth time in a walk and he’s nearly pulled me over trying to chomp up a leave blowing in the opposite direction, my frustration gets the better of me and it comes out, “Chaos!” in an exasperated tone. And then I curse myself because I realize I should been correcting him properly instead of just yelling his name.

Just like me, probably most of you will continue to use your tone of voice with dog’s name to get across your point. But if you make yourself aware that you are doing it, it will happen less often. And then your waggly tailed baby will have more positive associations with his name than negative and that is better for everybody.

Fighting the Furballs' Furballs: On Shedding

Having pets in my home was something I knew I wanted for as long as I can remember. I’ve always loved animals. But as an adult with my own place, I understand what a huge responsibility they are. Not only are there the big things that immediately come to mind like providing their necessities, training and exercise, but there’s also cleaning up after them.

I often affectionately refer to my cats and dogs as furballs. But those furballs leave the kind of furballs behind I don’t have any affection for. The cats may clean themselves but they don’t clean up after themselves. Basically, having animals in your home = dirt. Constantly. I wonder just how many OCD clean freaks and germaphobes actually have pets that live inside.

Humans shed their “fur” just like other animals. We just happen to have a lot less than our cat and dog counterparts. On any given day Chris is picking a long blonde hair or 2 off his shirt after sitting on the couch or giving me a hug. And that layer of dust sitting on your shelves, it’s mostly made up of dead skin cells. Yuck. But when we add really furry creatures to the mix, we up the dirt level 10 fold.

Except for the few hairless breeds of dogs and cats, they all shed their fur just like we lose the hair on our heads. Some shed more than others and some just have a heck of a lot more hair than others. And the level of shedding depends on the time of year. Spring – Summer at our place is like Christmas is July. Miss Piper is the worst culprit will her long, fluffy white fur. And not only does it quickly gather in corners forming those real balls of fur, it shows up everywhere because we have dark wood floors and furniture.

Ares comes in close behind Piper. His fur is short but it’s coarse and wiry. Every night when I sweep the floor I get a little pile of those black strands. And if you’re wearing a light colored shirt when you come over, don’t expect to leave without at a few little souvenirs from the resident Boston Terrier.

Little O is actually just about as furry as Piper but he doesn’t shed as much as she does. You can see the hair floating away when you pet him during high shedding season but it doesn’t come out in tufts like hers. Plus, his orangey coloring isn’t very visible around the house.

Sometimes it seems like Chaos doesn’t even shed. You never get fur on your hand or see it flying off when petting him. You can’t see it anywhere around the house or when you give him a bath. The only time I was actually able to confirm that he does shed and he’s not some alien dog from another planet was when had on a black t-shirt in the spring and I noticed a few short hairs stuck to it after cuddling by him.

We try to make sure to brush them regularly and bath the dogs but it doesn’t seem to cut back on the fur build up that much. I’ve heard that putting oil in their food or feeding them Omega-3 tablets can help lessen the amount of shedding because it keeps their coats healthier but it’s not something we have tried. There are also different types of combs and shampoos labeled to help with shedding but I haven’t heard great results when done at home.

Short of letting the collecting fur continue to grow into giant furballs and take over our home, we just have to clean a lot. There is a lot of wiping shelves and counters and vacuuming that goes on to fight the fur. And we have to use the dreaded attachments on the vacuum. Is it just me or does anyone else hate using the attachments? I honestly didn’t even use them before I had all these furbabies. I also didn’t clean as well, oops.

I can see why a lot of people simply don’t have indoor pets because they don’t want all  the furballs that come with the furballs. It can get irritating having to constantly clean and sometimes feeling like you live in furland. We work hard to make our homes nice and always being able to keep them that way is something some people just can’t handle. For us, it’s worth it. I’d take the furballs with the furballs any day because the awesomeness of living with all the live furballs otherwise outweighs living with the furballs they create. Although I highly suggest investing in a good vacuum and some lint rollers.

How do you keep your fur-filled home from becoming uh, fur-filled? Does anyone else harbor feelings of resentment toward the vacuum and it’s attachments?

Sleepy Sunday: 7-20-14: Ares Turns 2!

This Sunday was not a typical Sunday for us. Our bouncy little Boston boy turned 2 yesterday. He woke me up at 6:20 AM to start his birthday celebration by puking on me.

Normally the dogs sleep in their crates but since it was his birthday I drug one of the big dog beds into my bedroom and let him sleep there. I had a bag of brand new clothes sitting on the floor and after he puked I quickly realized why. He had pulled the shirts out of the bag and chewed up the tags. There was no damage to any of them, they were just missing the tags. And the extra buttons that come in the little plastic baggies. So guess what I got to make sure came out when he went potty? But, hey, birthdays around our place are kind of a big deal. So it was okay.

I had planned to make a cake like I did last year using dog friendly ingredients. But then I found a recipe on Pinterest for doggie cinnamon rolls. Both my dogs love anything with cinnamon so I thought I’d give these a whirl. It’s funny because they look very much like people cinnamon rolls except they are actually hard and crunchy like a dog biscuit. There’s even icing for them!

As soon as “Happy Birthday” finished I gave the go ahead to eat and Chaos gobbled his up in seconds. Ares is always slow with food though and took his sweet time breaking each one apart and licking it clean and then chewed it up. They both definitely loved them though so I will keep the recipe in my arsenal when we need some high value treats.

Call me crazy but I believe birthdays come with presents, even if you are a dog. A couple weeks ago when Chris was in a wedding he left the tuxedo bag on the bed. Ares took the opportunity to hop inside and I found him lounging that way when I walked in the room. Just for kicks I thought I’d zip him up and just leave his head out and try to get a quick picture. I was a little surprised that he actually didn’t try to escape at all. Instead he just went with it and actually decided to lay down and take a snooze all snuggled up. That’s when it hit me. The perfect birthday present. A sleeping bag.

I don’t know if they actually make sleeping bags for dogs but I figured a human kid’s one would work just as well. When I brought it out Ares was very excited. He just knew it was all for him. And when I got it out of the bag he immediately claimed it.

After I got it zipped up I showed him that it opened and he could crawl inside. He went right in and took himself a little nap with his full belly of cinnamon rolls. If you don’t think this is cute you shouldn’t be reading this blog.

If you don’t live around the Cincinnati are you might not even know about ,let alone be a fan of Greater’s ice cream. If you’ve never had it, just believe me when I say it is the best. And it just so happens that National Ice Cream day and Ares’s birthday fell on the same day.

We generally make it a point not to feed our dogs human food unless it’s a dog friendly recipe or a very special occasion. So in honor of turning 2 we took Ares down to our local Greater’s store and got him his very own cup of peanut butter ice cream and sat outside.

I’m not sure he took his face out of that cup for a good ten minutes. It was pretty warm so ice cream was a nice treat for all of us. The funny thing is Ares didn’t make a mess at all. But I spilt chocolate chip cookie dough all down my pants. And a little on Ares’s head. I don’t claim to be graceful.

If you’re wondering why Chaos didn’t get to go there are 2 reasons. One, he will get to do a solo activity on his birthday so he gets all the attention. Two, the Greaters by us is in a town where Pit Bulls are not welcome unfortunately. Even if they are sweet and adorable. But don’t worry, he got to stay home with a juicy bone that he was quite happy about.

After our ice cream treats Ares treated Chris and to some lovely aromas in the car the entire way home. Apparently the ice cream gave him some gas. We just rolled the windows down and tried to breathe sparingly. Good thing we did not have a long drive. You learn to appreciate fresh air more when you have dogs.

Upon arrival home Ares decided to spend the rest of his birthday as the cuddle king. He spent some time on the couch with us, well mostly Chris, his favorite human. He spent some time on the bed all by himself. And then he spent some time in his new sleeping bag, all snuggled up like a bug in a rug.

Sometimes being Ares’s mommy is a lot of work. He’s hyper, stubborn, defiant and a bit of a sass. But he’s also adorably goofy and sweet and makes us laugh every day. Happy birthday to my crazy little guy. We love you more than you will ever know.