I don’t know that I have ever started a post with a picture, let alone a picture that is not of my furry kids. But this picture is what sparked today’s post so I thought it was appropriate. I think most of us are parents in some way whether you have humans kids, furry kids or both. And I’ll bet we’ve all done this when one of them is in trouble.
Human kids learn to hear words and understand their meanings but also to read tone. Since a lot of us treat our furballs much like human children, we tend to also communicate with them using both words and our tone of voice. But you have to be careful not to make a negative association when you don’t mean to.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. Humans convey messages to each other all the time using the exact same words and phrases but using different tones of voice to allow the other person to infer the message. Simply saying the word “hey” can illustrate many different emotions based on the context in which it is used. I could shout, “hey!” in a positive, upbeat tone of voice in greeting someone I am happy to see. I could say the same word in a startled voice if someone pops around the corner and surprises me. Or I could still use it as an exclamation but in a sharp, quick tone to gain someone’s attention.
When we use our tone to describe what we actually mean rather than just using the definition of the word itself, our human counterparts generally get the gist. But our furbabies learn from experience what words mean and it’s difficult for them to understand one word can have more than one meaning simply based on the tone in which it is communicated. Which brings me to my point.
Just like we say words different ways to show emotions, we also use names to achieve this. Like in the first picture, if your mom or dad says your full name or even just says your name a specific way, you know you’re in trouble. But as a human, you also recognize that just because mom said “Hilary,” in that tone that means busted an hour ago, doesn’t mean when she says your name next time it will mean that you did something wrong.
Recall is a very important lesson for dogs. We want them to know their names of course so they know when we are talking to them, but we also want them to know to come to us when they are called. If you open the door and your terrier takes off after a squirrel, you want to be able to call him back inside. Dogs can easily and quickly learn this when it is taught properly.
When you get a new dog or puppy and name her you usually say that name over and over and over to the point that she will soon figure out that name = her. Teaching recall is really just going one step further and saying her name + come and making a fuss and giving treats when she comes to you. Your dog will put name + come = kisses and treats and will associate you calling her name positively. This evolves into just saying her name to have her come to you.
But even if you teach your little fluff ball recall, it doesn’t take much to learn a negative association if you use the wrong tone of voice. Just like people, a negative experience can overshadow a hundred positive ones. So one day when your little darling potties on the carpet and you say her name in that tone that means you’re in trouble and maybe add a come here now is that same tone, she’s going to think calling her to you means bad things. I’m completely guilty of this too so I’m not calling anyone out. It rolls off the tongue naturally.
Ares has always been a bit of a troublemaker. Because I’ve said his name in that you’re in trouble tone one too many times, his recall isn’t where it should be. He doesn’t always come when called because calling him to me has too often meant he did something wrong, even if I’m saying it in a nice way. On the other hand Chaos will always come to me no matter my tone, but that says a lot of personality differences.
I don’t know how many times we’ve been out walking and one of the dogs will get distracted by something and lose focus. Chaos has a fascination with blowing leaves and dandelions. Ares fixates on chirping birds and runners. The first few leaves Chaos gives his attention to I generally remember to say, “Chaos, focus” to bring his gaze back to me. But when we get to the tenth time in a walk and he’s nearly pulled me over trying to chomp up a leave blowing in the opposite direction, my frustration gets the better of me and it comes out, “Chaos!” in an exasperated tone. And then I curse myself because I realize I should been correcting him properly instead of just yelling his name.
Just like me, probably most of you will continue to use your tone of voice with dog’s name to get across your point. But if you make yourself aware that you are doing it, it will happen less often. And then your waggly tailed baby will have more positive associations with his name than negative and that is better for everybody.
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