Waaayyy back in the first trimester, at least it seems like that was so long ago, I had a memorable pregnancy mood swing or 2. I thought a few totally melodramatic moments over Christmas decorations and missing socks was ridiculous then but now they seem pretty PG in comparison. Well, at least to the insanity that has been 35 weeks. In my pre-pregnancy life I was fairly easy going, in control of my emotions and almost always a think before I speak type of person. That version of myself has now gone completely out the window more than a few times this past week and let me tell you, it's not my favorite.
A little anxiety here and there is normal. Life can be stressful no matter who you are. But overwhelming, all consuming, coming at you like a freight train anxiety is not something I was familiar with. Until now. I touched on this yesterday but after reading some of your e-mails I've decided to share a little bit more about my experience. Monthly hormonal changes can get the best of us all but I found myself in completely unfamiliar territory when I was first hit with a giant wave of anxiety last week. Needless to say, I did not handle it well. I think the most frustrating thing for me was not being able to stop it. When you're someone who can usually play it cool on the outside even when there's a raging hurricane of emotion on the inside, it's a total game changer. I almost felt like I was watching the panic overtake someone else's body and not my own.
These late pregnancy hormones are probably to blame BUT really there's no way to know if I'd feel this way even if pregnancy didn't come with raging hormones. So it wouldn't be fair to invalidate those feelings, especially in the moment, by downplaying them and simply labeling pregnancy hormones alone as the cause. The most helpful thing for me has been simply letting it out. It's beyond my control and that by itself makes me feel crazy so fighting it is just worse. I am so lucky that when these episodes crop up, I have all kinds of people in my corner who aren't afraid to be there while I ride it out. Oh, and I mentioned I make lists. I do this anyway but making lists upon lists upon lists helps to quell the anxiety and bring it down to a manageable level. Find what works for you and do it. Don't worry if it makes you seem even crazier because honey, I hate to break it to you, but you're already there. Own it.
Symptoms: Major anxiety and it sucks balls. Sorry. Punches to the bladder and kicks to the ribs. I both hate (for obvious reasons), and love it at the same time. Wanting to eat everything but only having room for small portions. That's probably a good thing when there's a bag of donuts within reach. And really starting to feel like I'm toting a beach ball around everywhere. Sometimes you just gotta have a sense of humor about it all.
P.S. Anxiety in pregnancy is usually normal but definitely mention it to your doctor. Had to say it.
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